


Horrible Group Chats - NDRV3

by shiroganeslave



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Chat rooms, Chats, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Spoilers, Spoilers maybe, group chats, seriously, shitty chaTS DO YOU HEAR ME, shitty chats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-10-24 15:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10744338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroganeslave/pseuds/shiroganeslave
Summary: "THIS IS WHERE I PUT MY SINS AND SUCCESSES SO SUCK MA FLORIDA, ALL OF YOU""SHUT UP YOU HITLER WANNABE""How could Florida be sucked?""oH MY""*sneezed like a kitten* you bitch i was doing my man thing""EAT MY CHILDREN""BLAZIN' ITTTTTTT""help""have i ever explained how much i wanted to die""BUUUUGS""wake me up""piss kink""VORE""I MEAN GORE""KAWAII DESU CHAAAAN-""WHO POSTED THAT NUDE PIC OF ME""I WANNA DIE""SASS""there's two asses in assassination so im not evil, im hot."-Danganronpa V3, everyone





	1. Usernames/Nicknames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the world needs more memes

let's see if you could guess these dank names-

 

PianoTuts  
helpme  
clearlynotsuspicious  
lord  
i<3Bugs  
spaceee  
irutiddies  
animu4laifu  
Wincest  
guiltguy™  
Kiibo  
killme  
Mage  
pinwheel  
God's vessel  
eatmychildren

 

if chu could guess all of it ur the next mastermind in the 69th generation of enoshima junko :^^)))


	2. horrible opener

helpme: eh?

helpme: what is this?

helpme: how the

helpme: you know what im not even gonna bother asking why we have groupchats

helpme: and how we get internet connection

helpme: and the monopad suddenly having a texting system

helpme: and why we're still in the killing game

helpme: why i hate my life

spaceee: u need some pepsi

helpme: i dont want ur damn pepsi

lord: drink my panta instead boi <3

helpme: dont <3 me

PianoTuts: Seriously, just relax, Saihara-kun!

Kiibo: Well, the sudden change of pace by having this system for each of us is a very pleasant thing, if you ask me.

Wincest: You have the most pleasent name yet. @Kiibo

I<3bugs: but why would the mastermind- or the Monokumarz made this system?

helpme: shirogane-san

animu4laifu: dont point it at me

animu4laifu: im innocenT

helpme: whatever u say

God’s vessel: Saihara-kun seems down! Can you just relax for a little bit?~

guiltguy™: well after the hardships we've been through he's the most likely to freak out more 

irutiddies: LETS SCREW WITH EM

PianoTuts: aww, come on guys! Dont be mean and cheer on him!

PianoTuts: Calm yourself, Saihara-kun!

lord: calm your tits saihara-chan

PianoTuts: okay that wasn't necessary

Mage: i dont wanna think so i guess u should calm urself boi

God’s vessel: caaaaalm

irutiddies: SOOTHE YOUR BOOBS

Wincest: de-stress your breasts

eatmychildren: undo the calamity that is your mammaries

animu4laifu: shush your bosoms

killme: adjust your bust before it combusts

clearlynotsuspicious: give that chest a rest

pinwheel: dont have a rack attack

helpme: seriously guys??

helpme: i dont even have real boobs but i feel sexually harassed here

Kiibo: ....I refuse to partake. I feel bad for Saihara-kun.

spaceee: same same~

helpme: Thank you, both of you.

spaceee: but still

spaceee: hakuna your tatas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyy there u go a shitty opener for this so-called group chats
> 
> oh did i mention horrible
> 
> seriously child this is a warning-
> 
> run away before u drown in this mess :^^))


	3. Chapter 3

**I <3Bugs:** Shirogane-san? **@animu4laifu**

**animu4laifu:** oh, Gokuhara-kun had summoned me! What a surprise~ Very well, then! I'll be your servant for the rest of our lives!

**I <3Bugs: **Errr..... sorry, but Gonta doesn't know what you're talking about!

**animu4laifu:** .....I was making a reference, don't mind that~

**animu4laifu:** so what is it? what do you wanna talk about?

**I <3Bugs:** Gonta has been wondering......

**animu4laifu:** hmm?

**I <3Bugs:** What is anime?

**animu4laifu:**

**animu4laifu:**

**animu4laifu:**

**animu4laifu:**

**animu4laifu:**

**spaceee:** i picked my vibrating monopad to see the chats but iM SH O O K

**PianoTuts:** gOKUHARA-KUN NO

**lord:** GOKUHARA-CHAN ASKED "THE THING"

**totallynotsuspicious:** GOKUHARA-KUN PLS LEAVE THE MONOPAD AT ONCE

**I <3Bugs:** eeh? But Gonta is curious! You guys have been saying these animes and games, so Gonta is feeling left out! I want to know! :D

**spaceee:** oH NO HE USED THE LAUGHING EMOTICON

**lord:** we are fucking done for

**I <3Bugs:** What?! As a gentleman, I cannot let you feel down! My wild relatives wouldn't let me! Right, Shirogane-san?!

**totallynotsuspicious:** oh fuck

**totallynotsuspicious:** shirogane??

**animu4laifu:** *does the shining anime glasses thing*

**totallynotsuspicious:** pls can we talk bout something else

**animu4laifu:** Shut the fuck up

**animu4laifu:** Shit the fuck down

**animu4laifu:** 'Cause this is story time, moda fucka  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**-after le countless hour of painful explaination***  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**animu4laifu:** AND THAT'S HOW ANIME GIRLS HAD REALLY DIVERSE BOOBS

**I <3Bugs:** I see!

**spaceee:** NO YOU DONT "SEE", YOUR SUPPOSED TO SUFFER

**helpme:** i live the cruel life

**killme:** This conversation has gone too far. Are you two aware that it's already midnight?

**lord:** nah i kinda enjoyed it. magical fighting princesses ftw

**Wincest:** Keep it going. I like this conversation :

**pinwheel:** did you just

**pinwheel:** did you just fucking send only ":" cuz you don't show your fucking mouth?

**Wincest:** Good. Now I don't have to explain  >:

**PianoTuts:** Shirogane-san, please

**PianoTuts:** stOP

**animu4laifu:** NOW WE TALK ABOUT TRAPS! YOU SEE THAT SOME OF THE ANIMES HAD THE CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT SEXUALIZED IN APPEARANCE ANYMORE SO NO MATTER HOW FEMININE THAT GIRL IS SHE COULD BE A BOY AND SO ON

**I <3Bugs:** So there is a high chance that Saihara-kun is a girl?

  **animu4laifu:** YES YES I WAS THINKING OF THAT EARLIER AND I'VE MADE SHIT TONS OF GIRL MAID COSTUMES FOR SAIHARA-KUN

**helpme:** shirogane

**helpme:** you've

**helpme:** gone

**helpme:** too

**helpme:** fucking

**helpme:** far

**totallynotsuspicious:** oh my god can i have one pls

**animu4laifu:** no

**guiltguy™:** Has anyone heard the Night Time announcement, though? It kept bugging me for while

**helpme:** shirogane-san

**animu4laifu:** shit

**animu4laifu:** brb

**animu4laifu:** im back

**eatmychildren:** "it's midnight time you motherfuckers i gotta go i need to keep explaining sin"?

**spaceee:** WELL IF THAT AINT OBVIOUS I DONT KNOW WHAT IS

**irutiddies:** WHO THE FUCK ANNOUNCED THAT NOW AND CALLING ME A MOTHERFUCKER

**PianoTuts:** *virtual face palm*

**PianoTuts:** Oh wait! Where's the rest of us??

**lord:** ha

**PianoTuts:** What did you do to them?!

**Mage:** im here mom im ok

**God’s Vessel:** I'm here!~

**Kiibo:** I forgot I left my Monopad in the Game Room. I'm suprised that Ouma-kun went through all of that just to bring it to me.

**God’s Vessel:** Me too!~

**Mage:** same

**lord:** ok yumeno-chan

**lord:** ask the thing

**Kiibo:** what?

**spaceee:** ouma what the fuck dude

**helpme:** i dont like where this is going

**Mage:** oh right wheres da script

**Mage:** oh there it is **@animu4laifu**

**Mage:** miss senpai tsumugi-sama-kawaii-desu-chan. would u kindly explain to us, very detailed explanation, about the well known animu term to call two males 69-ing

**Mage:** pheww, so much typing today

**animu4laifu:** o h

**lord:** LOLOLOL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YAOI????!!?!1

**totallynotsuspicious:** DONT FAKE YOUR EXCITEMENT WE ALL KNOW IT'S YOUR DOING

**lord:** looks like this ain't the only thing I'll be doing tonight ;)

**totallynotsuspicious:** stAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME ;;

**PianoTuts:** ouma-kun why

**animu4laifu:** **@Mage** Yumeno-san, to answer your question

**killme:** embrace yourself

**Mage:** yeeeah?

**animu4laifu:** *took a deep breath*

**spaceee:** you dont have to put your roleplaying here

**animu4laifu:** stfu its necessary

**animu4laifu:** *took a deep breath*

**animu4laifu:** When two senpais notice each other  


 

 

 

***silence for solid 5 minutes***  
  


 

**totallynotsuspicious:** well that's not so bad

**animu4laifu:** THE CUTENESS THAT YOU CAN HAVE IN THE YAOI IS LIKE IN THE WHOLE NEW LEVEL WHERE THE MANLY GUY WHO'S COMMONLY THE SEME IN THE RELATIONSHIP START MAKING MOVES THE UKE THEY DID THIS AND THAT AND THEN THE FUCK AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

**animu4laifu:** ALSO SEME MEANS SOMEONE WHO TOPS AND UKE MEANS BOTTOM- POSSIBLE UKE: SAIHARA, OUMA, KIIBO, HOSHII POSSIBLE SEME: AMAMI, MOMOTA, SHINGUUJI, GOKUHARA, OUMA

**animu4laifu:** OUMA-KUN CAN GO BOTH WAYS CUZ HE'S THE CUTEST SHOTA ALIVE

**animu4laifu:** MOMOTA-KUN AND GOKUHARA-KUN ARE BARAS

**animu4laifu:** SAIHARA-KUN, KIIBO-KUN, AMAMI-KUN, HOSHII-KUN AND SHINGUUJI-KUN ARE BISHIES

**animu4laifu:** THOUGH PERSONALLY I SHIP AMAMI WITH A POLE

**animu4laifu:** FUCK THAT GUY

**animu4laifu:** ALSO SAIHARA-KUN CAN GO BOTH WAYS CUZ APPARENTLY HE'S A PERVERTED SICK FUCK BEFORE THIS

**animu4laifu:** FUCK ALL OF THIS EVERYONE GOES BOTH WAYS

**animu4laifu:** LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT GREAT YAOI GENRE MATCHES THEM

**lord:** lol best day ever :'D

 

 

 

 

 

** -2 days later- **

 

 

 

  
  
**  
**totallynotsuspicious:****

**totallynotsuspicious** : is it over?

**totallynotsuspicious** : **@i <3Bugs** Gokuhara?

**i <3Bugs:** I’m sorry, everyone! Someone broke Gonta’s Monopad when Gonta was going to the bathroom! Iruma-san is repairing the Monopad, so Gonta can’t use it until now! Gonta is terribly sorry!! D:

  
**totallynotsuspicious** : thank god

**iotallynotsuspicious** : Gokuhara-kun, you shouldn’t be in Monopad for a while.

**i <3Bugs:** Why? Gonta wants to know the rest of Shirogane’s explaination! Gonta cant see the previous texts because it’s erased!

**totallynotsuspicious** : gokuhara pleaSE

**animu4laifu** : OH MY GOD SO YOU DIDNT KNOW OOHOHOHOHOHOO CHILD LET ME EXPLAIN IT FOR YOU ONCE AGAIN

**animu4laifu** : TODAY WE’RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT LOLIS

**totallynotsuspicious** : ur the root of my suffering  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. offended keebs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in the name of social justice robot, I'll fucking sue you

**spaceee:**  hey gays

 **spaceee** : guys*

 **spaceee:**  damn autocorrect

 **guiltguy™** : oh my god brb im gonna burn their monopads again

 **Wincest:** kukuku

 **spaceee:** : shut up

 **spaceeev**  anyways, wanna hang out later?

 **helpme:**  sure, why not?

 **lord:**  i feel homoured

 **Wincest** : oho

 **lord:**  dammit not agayn

 **helpme:**  Ouma-kun, stop. Kiibo is still here.

 **Kiibo** : Hm? Why?

 **Wincest:**  ....kuh

 **Kiibo** : I really don't understand people. Why is everybody telling me I'm offended easily? I may overreact sometimes but it doesn't mean im offended or anything.

 **totallynotsuspicious:**  my dick is bigger than your ahoge

 **Kiibo** : ThE fuCK diD yOU jUST sAY tO mE? LEARN SOME VOCABULARY BEFORE OPENING YOUR MOUTH: ROBOTS DONT HAVE AHOGES IT'S CALLED ANTENNA YOU DIPSHIT

 **lord** : im

 **lord** : im going home

 **spaceee** : *homo

 **lord:** shut up

 **helpme** : you know what kiibo-kun

 **helpme:** if u said that earlier

 **helpme:** if u were sassy

 **helpme** : we would've known who's the mastermind and what this shit is all about sooner

 **animu4laifu:** what the fuck are you talking about

 **helpme:** gET OUT

 

 


	5. number three

**lord** : ❤

 **Kiibo:** what

 **Kiibo** : how do you do that?

 **lord** : do what?~ **:**

 **Kiibo:**  that weird pink shape

 **lord** : ah just add 3 and an arrow then it'll automatically go to ❤ >w<

 **Kiibo** : 3>

 **Kiibo** : wait how do you turn the 3

 **lord** : omfg

 **Kiibo** : nvm I got it

 **Kiibo** : Ɛ>

 **lord** : what the fuck

 


End file.
